This week, I asked, “If you knew your life would be lighter and flow more easily, would you be willing to forgive anyone and everyone who ever hurt, abandoned or ignored you?”
There is a thought in our collective consciousness that says, “We have to remember who hurt us, when and we have to hold onto it to ensure we never get hurt again.”
If you understand the Law of Attraction, you understand it really doesn’t work this way. We know that we attract what we are…which means that if we hang onto all of the pain we have experienced over the course of our lifetime, it does not protect us. It actually continues to attract more of that into our lives. Most of that pain is stored in our sub-conscious and we may not even be aware we’re carrying it. We know we have undesirable experiences in our lives and if we believe those experiences are the cause of our pain instead of the other way around, it can seem as if we have no control over any of it.
My teacher Hu Dalconzo taught me I “had to become vulnerable in order to be invulnerable.”
This means I had to be willing to forgive anyone I perceived had ever harmed me physically or emotionally in order to live a life of peace.
Aristotle said something that relates to this. He said, “The mind is a clean tablet upon which experience writes.”
My question was, “So if I started out with a clean slate, can I ever clean it off again?” The answer to this question is YES. You can selectively clean out that which you have determined is not serving you, through the practice of forgiveness.
As children, our minds were absorbing experiences. Many early experiences shaped our perceptions through which our subconsiouse determined our limits. We decided if we were good enough, what we deserved, what we had to do in order to garner acceptance or approval, if we were safe and so on. We had a thought about an experience which our minds anchored in place with the positive or negative emotion and then the next time something happened mirroring this thought, we decided that this was our reality. Many of us really don’t remember those early decisions. We have long ago accepted thereality of it though.
Many people I work with tell me, I have already forgiven this person so I don’t need to do it again. And yet, the emotional pain of those experiences continue to be mirrored back to them in their lives.
It’s important to understand that forgiveness isn’t necessarily a one time event. If it was someone you didn’t know very well and they perhaps only had a minor one time upset with you, it can be accomplished in one exercise. For the people who played major parts in our lives however, it will likely require you to forgive again and again until you only feel love and understanding for the other person. As long as you feel any level of pain towards someone else, it is attracting mirror experiences into your lives to remind you the pain is still there. Anyone who ever hurt you whether you believe they intended to hurt you or not, acted from a place of pain within them. No one who has love and compassion in their hearts ever hurts another intentionally.
If you are ready to forgive, here’s a simple exercise to do it.
- Imagine a place you feel safe in. Visualize you and the other person sitting there facing each other.
- Tell them how you felt when they did/didn’t do, said/didn’t say all that you remember. This is your time to talk so let it all out. You can do this out loud or silently.
- Now FEEL this pain within you. Let go for a few moment of the other person and just FEEL your emotions. Breathe deeply into them and exhale them out with the sound of Ahhh. When you feel better, continue to the next step.
- Visualize and hear this person apologize to you. This is not their time to justify or rationalize their actions. If you notice your mind having difficulty imagining them apologizing, understand that this is your perception continuing to play out, so you may need to re-visit Step 4. Hear the other person apologize and listen with an open heart to what they have to say.
- Tell them you forgive them and give them a big hug.
- Let them go and let them leave.
- Spend a few moments sending them love and compassion. When you feel ready, open your eyes.
I have used this exercise on people I had a lot of emotion attached to which can take awhile…and at other times used it on many to whom came up with little bits of emotion. The more you use it, the more you benefit.
Please feel free to share what you experience after practicing this so others may benefit.
P.S. I am starting a new newsletter through which I will be downloading everything I’ve ever learned or experienced in regards to Alternative Medicine, Healing, Metaphysics, Holstic Health and Spirituality one topic at a time. This newsletter will only be available by email and will not be posted on Facebook, Twitter or other social media outlets. The intent behind this is to develop more interaction between myself and readers beyond just a “Like” or “Follow” so questions can be asked and answered in a more secure environment. If you’re interested, contact me at: http://apath2peace.com/contact/
Jeff Scholl is a Certified Spiritual Life Coach and a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner. He has recently completed a Bachelor of Metaphysical Science at the University of Sedona and is currently working on his Masters. Learn more about Jeff at: http://apath2peace.com/